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May 23 2018

If I never watch the episode it means it technically isn’t over, right?

lesserjoke:

No, frankincense was the name of the wise man, not the gift he brought. You’re thinking of frankincense’s monster.

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fpjonez:

We’re all neighbors here.

May 22 2018

mockingbirdie:

do you ever just sit around and think I’m in my twenties.

the-transfeminine-mystique:

susiephone:

danicashipper:

clever-ginger:

takineko:

bitch-diarrhea:

parks-and-rex:

Jesus: One of you will betray Me

Judas:  Surely you don’t mean me

Jesus: 

image

Judas: *betrays jesus*

Jesus:

Peter: We would never abandon you, Lord. I’d die first!

Jesus:

Peter after being asked if he knew Jesus:

Jesus:

Thomas: *after the resurrection* “Jesus can’t be alive! He’s dead! It’s impossible!”

Jesus:

The Apostles: “Holy shit you’re alive, now you’re gonna lead us to victory against the Romans, right?”

Jesus:

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May 21 2018

lizardsister:

lizardsister:

holy SHIT there’s a paranormal club at my school?? bouta finally find myself a cute ghost gf

mishacolins:

Unknown number: *calls me*

Me (while staring down at my phone): can you please not do that

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applesbananaspie:

me forever

class-struggle-anarchism:

cannae believe Prince Harry went and married Angela Merkel 

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lex–aeterna:

spangefucker:

meatbicyclevevo:

somebody once told me the world was gonna

end on december 21, 2012. i bought all of this fucking pasta as a way to celebrate the end of the world and now i’m $10,000 in debt and i have pasta everywhere in my house

i ain’t the sharpest tool in the shed

gwingle:

orcgf:

orcgf:

if catholicism/christianity is fake… mary really was in that for the long haul. she pulled the longest con in existence & even got her kid in on it

mary’s friend gabriel who knocked her up: you told joseph i was a what now?

mary, taking a sip of her coffee: an angel, gabe. try to keep up.

joseph: what the hell, you’re pregnant?

mary, about to invent christianity: oh? you haven’t heard?

lesbiantaurean:

xeppeli:

sigmund freud made all that shit up for the views

Everyone Wants to Fuck Their Mom (NOT CLICKBAIT)

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adaemonie:

marinavermilion:

rockfeels:

I JUST SPAT OUT MY TEA WHICH ACTORS CANONIZED THIS 

Their names are Lucy Scherer (Glinda) and Roberta Valentini (Elphaba), they played in German production of Wicked, and yes, they’re amazing :)

I saw them in WICKED as a small baby dyke and honestly THAT KISS… my gay heart is still not over it lol

cosantiago:

you: are you a hoodie, plaid, or leather jacket bisexual?

me, an intellectual:

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marvelgifs:

I’m not gonna launch those ships. Captain’s orders.

barsnips:

ancientgreeksuggestions:

ancientgreeksuggestions:

Change ur mistress into a cow so your wife doesn’t catch you cheating

Appoint a guy with eyes all over his body to guard the cow so your husband can’t have sex with her anyways

If the url didn’t have the word greek in it to cue me in on the ridiculousness of Greek mythology I would just assume I had encountered the best shitposter on this whole website

advice for mistresses, concubines and courtesans

renaissancesuggestion:

1. don’t open his missive, you know he only writes because he’s consumed too much wine

2. instruct your servants not to allow him entry, you’ll have to remove him from your villa again

3. do not agree to be on congenial terms, you know you’ll end up having congress again

and if you’re copulating, you’re not getting over him

ouc-h:

being “raised right” doesn’t mean you don’t drink, party, and smoke being raised right is how you treat people, your manners & respect

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