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October 04 2017



I have a client who communicates exclusively via Microsoft Word.

If she has something to tell me, I’ll receive an email with nothing in the body, but a Word doc attached. That’s where she writes her message.

Whenever she wants to email me a photo, she does so via an empty Word doc with said photo set as its background.

But my favorite thing was the first time I witnessed her visiting a website. She had me spell the URL (“W… W… W… dot…”) and with my own two eyes I watched her type it into Word, made it a hyperlink, and Ctrl click it to go there.

I was so fascinated I didn’t even say anything.

a different microsoft world


this man next to me is on the phone and he went “are you fucking kidding me right now? are you serious?” then he got up and stood next to a cactus and went “im by my favorite cactus right now, and you’re disrespecting me like this?”



can you imagine not being human & just living out your days as a weeping willow, though? beautiful? by the water? unburdened? ideal

I wanna be the one from Harry Potter that beats the shit out of everyone and everything


does anyone else convert oxygen into carbon dioxide or is that just me lol 




if that sewer clown makes himself an image of your worst fear before he eats you, i could kick his ass. what’s he gonna do turn into the physical manifestation of being abandoned by your closest friends? gonna turn into an ooky spooky visual representation of catastrophic failure and loss? jokes on you dumbass the only thing im afraid of is myself

This is an actual plot point in the book though as I recall, he doesn’t like hunting adults usually because hes a) a cowardly parasite and b) Children have very tangible fears that can be easily manifested physically while adults generally have quite abstract or conceptual fears about the future, or events, or feelings.

pennywise aint shit

Abstract fears have reached the youngins these days, pussywise gonna starve

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via  godless.glasses

churches, I’m begging you, please run all your sign ideas by a thirteen-year-old

Jesus of Nazareth has been dead for 1,987 slutty, slutty years


*me taking yet another buzzfeed quiz at 2am* please tell me who i am


october is halloween adhd and lgbt awareness month, subsequently i have never been more powerful,

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This isnt even true theres always a chance u weenies

it’s never too late

when u make the gradual process to get better and achieve ur dreams

when u see positive posts like these on the dash and get inspired to pursue your goals

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#1 tweet of the century

October 02 2017



Gay culture is reblogging Gay Culture Is posts knowing full well that’s not gay culture but rather mental illness and social alienation 

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this was the first 280 character tweet I saw and now I never want to see another one because nothing is ever going to fucking top it

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Best Halloween costume, so far.


when you’ve been around straight people for too long and you need some gayness

September 29 2017


When a non-stan asks a stan to explain all the symbolism in the LWYMMD music video:

September 25 2017


If you think about it in the shower, you’re not over it


My boyfriend talks in his sleep and because he’s bilingual, he says some hilarious/weird/sometimes creepy shit. I ask him every morning if he remembers saying this stuff and he has no idea about any of it. 

Here are some of my favorites:

-”Babe, can you please turn down the brightness of your skin”
-After stealing all of the blankets: “This is my right as a human”
-After I take the blankets back: “I don’t want your freedom, America. Just blanket”
-Sometimes he just says “Hello?” as if he’s answering a phone call
-One night he just said “Cabbage” which is weird because he doesn’t know the english word for that when he’s awake. 
-After spooning me: “You have a nice butt”
-”Who is that in the corner?” (terrifying)
-”Watch out for the red lady” (even more terrifying)
-Sometimes he will say things in German and it sounds like he’s speaking Parseltongue
-One time I actually think he said something in Parseltongue
-One time he talked about buying a ticket to “everywhere” and then just said “hello?” after two minutes of silence
-And my all time favorite: ”This is MY yogurt, Satan”


Oliver Wood becomes Minister of Magic and makes it illegal to cancel Quidditch

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