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August 08 2017



in my dream last night i brought back a dead meme and lost over 50 followers in one night. i’m now going to attempt to recreate this dream in the awakesphere, to provide the kind of content you, my followers, are looking for

this is it. this is the meme my subconscious mind generated, or, at least, the closest approximation that can be achieved in the physical world. i’m putting this out there, now. whatever happens happens


When people act like Sansa only started being a strong woman in season 6 because she started physically fighting and talking back: 


i’m so angry that grrm hates fanfiction when asoiaf is literally just a wars of the roses zomebie au

when you learn about a new fetish you never even heard of

What you missed on 7x04 of Game of Thrones:





so if in the soulmate au the very first words your soulmate ever says to you are tattooed somewhere on your body since the day you are born imagine having something like ‘man I cant believe dumbledore died’ tattooed on you. imagine being spoiled for a book series that doesnt even exist yet. imagine worrying about this dumbledore guy your whole childhood while not knowing who he is. imagine knowing dumbledore dies before jk rowling even thinks about it.

Everybody go home, this is my favorite soulmate au

So you finally find your soulmate. After years of knowing that dumbledore dies and the entire franchise being ruined, you find him. You’re in the theatre, dumbledore is dead and you hear it. ‘Man I can’t believe dumbledore died’ by a guy walking right by you and in you’re rage you shout ‘You! You’re the one!’ The guy stops, looks at you, his own arm to read the words, then back at you and he says, “That’s not really how I imagined that being said”

It got better


I think the most Gemini thing my dad has ever done is one year he threw himself a reverse surprise party for the sheer drama of it. What is a reverse surprise party? you may ask, well let me tell you. So he invites over all his friends and family and then in the middle of dinner he stands up and announces that it’s not a regular dinner, it is in fact, his birthday dinner (his exact words were “Surprise! …. it’s my Birthday”) cue everyone looking panicked, because oh god I don’t have a gift, I don’t even have a card, but my father, wine glass still in hand assures them not to worry and reveals a pile of presents he got for himself and wrapped for everyone to pick one and give it to him as their gift. And honestly? My father is such a legend.



Anthony Scaramucci was white house communications director for 10 days and during that time he called steven bannon a cocksucker, threatened to kill all white house leakers, got his boss fired, missed the birth of his child bc he was sucking up to trump, and was divorced by his wife what an icon™ 

Go Big and Go Home

ways in which shrek fits the bill for an epic similar to the iliad or the odyssey


  • hero has a supernatural lineage (ogre), performs great feats of strength, is virile, and is larger than life
  • the setting covers a large scope of the world it is set in (swamp; kingdom; journey to castle to save fiona)
  • many of the deeds are concerned with strength and valor
  • supernatural forces (dragon, fairytale creatures, lord farquaad) intervene in the hero’s life and cause innumerable troubles for him (for example, the creatures who take up residence in shrek’s swamp are similar to the suitors in the odyssey)
  • there are elements of an omniscient third person point-of-view
  • while not an invocation, there is an opening narration which sets the scene, and the story is firmly in media res
  • the characters are seemingly aware of their position in literature (they are referred to as fairytale creatures; shrek himself begins the movie by reading a story about a princess which relates to his rescue of fiona), similar to when helen refers to the trojan war as a ‘story for men to come’
  • the scene in which fairytale creatures are being brought in and named could be construed as a catalog scene, much like the catalog of ships
  • use of similes (ogres are like onions)
  • the movie begins with reference to the true tenth muse, smash mouth
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i still don’t find channing tatum attractive but i appreciate his role in the world as a chaotic good jock

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"Not all men"



You’re right Peter Parker wouldn’t do this

on an unrelated note i don’t think that guy spider-man would, either.


the last time I honored my feelings was when I was 8 and dug a really big hole in our back yard and got in it 

No offense but..... release your inhibitions feel the rain on your skin


“if you hate tumblr so much why don’t you just delete???”



I love that one of the restrictions on name changes in the UK is that your name cannot “promote criminal activities” and fucking hell every name I can think of that violates that is just stellar honestly like fucking hello nice to meet you my name is Commit Arson, I’d like you to meet my daughter Dont Pay Taxes and my son Steal From Work

this is my son, rob

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August 07 2017

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Bruce at the end of Batman vs Superman after realising Clark was good all along:

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